• Marcin Szymanski

How to be confident? - 4 truths about assertiveness and self-confidence

Self-confidence or lack of self is a topic that is always talked about a lot, both in the context of life, business and relationships with other people. Today I will introduce you from a completely different perspective:

1. Lack of confidence is not universal

People who feel insecure think this is a universal problem. They think that if they feel a lack of confidence then others probably do. By this, they treat the lack of confidence as an external problem that nothing can be done.

The truth is different, however, because the lack of confidence is a pattern / habit / belief that is in that person. In her mind and subconscious mind.

To realize this truth is the first step to change. The second step is to take responsibility for it.

If the problem of lack of self-confidence were external and independent of this person, then all people in the world would feel lack of self-confidence. Everyone in a given situation would react the same. The truth is that what is stressful to one is not.

If some people can feel self-confidence, then those who lack it can also learn it. This is only a scheme that can be crossed.

2. Confidence = Self-acceptance

Self-confidence, real and unwavering comes from the inside of every human being. It appears automatically when a person begins to accept themselves. Lack of acceptance creates various problems and excuses. It provokes self-attack and thus, worse mood. When a man understands that the emotions he feels come from within, he is able to deal with it.

When we start to pay attention in which areas of life we do not accept ourselves, we are able to recognize how we attack ourselves. And our attacks cause a later negative emotional state.

When you accept yourself, confidence will appear in you. Effortless and natural. We don't feel the rays of the sun when the sky is full of dark clouds.

3. Lack of self-confidence = Lack of responsibility

People who say for a long time that they lack confidence tend to have a lack of responsibility mechanism. They are usually not aware of this. They come up with various excuses and explanations for their hopeless condition.

When a person has a mechanism of lack of responsibility, he quickly blames himself for lack of confidence in everything around him. And this translates into a subsequent lack of results in life, in relationships and in business.

I didn't do it because ...

I gave up because ...

It failed because ...

It's other people's fault because ...

It's the fault of the father, mother, sister, friend, stranger ...

When a person assumes full responsibility for his life, he stops considering external factors as the source of his problem. Then there is no talk, then there is action without postponing everything.

4. Confidence = experience in the field

Take, for example, a well-known actor, when he enters the film set and plays his role, self-confidence beats from him. It comes from experience. From the fact that he has done it many times and nothing can surprise him. And when we imagine someone who is on the set for the first time - will he behave the same?

Let's look at the player who plays his first match in the national team. When you look at his behavior on the pitch, you see that he is a bit withdrawn, more nervous, less confident than during club matches.

And when you look at the same player, when he has already played 50 - 100 matches in the national team, you can see his familiarity and confidence in everything he does.

Self-confidence increases in direct proportion to the experience in the field. When someone is a beginner businessman, it is difficult for him to be relaxed and confident before the business meeting. He certainly feels a thrill, but when he runs such meetings for several years, he will feel like the proverbial fish in the water.

The main thing is to understand this fact and give yourself a break to be able to experience. Don't look for excuses everywhere, and take responsibility for your results yourself.

And what area would you like to work on to raise your confidence level? Write in the comment so that I can give you some tips and help get started.


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